Archive for July, 2007

Laughter Is The Best Medicine.

Posted in Jokes on July 31, 2007 by steve maestro

Just some jokes to share with you all. I know, I’ve been posting jokes and stuff like that of late, but yeah, I’ll get to some real blogging soon, got some stuff about my church’s outing to play bowling at Mont Kiara, some nice ‘yong tau fu’ restaurant at Jalan Ipoh, as well as a TAG by none other than Krys herself. Coming soon!

Okay, laugh now…:

Doctor : Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife : When must I give them to him?

Doctor : They are for you.

 

 

What’s the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?

Answer: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

 

 

Three fastest ways of communication:

1) Telephone

2) Television

3) Tell-a-woman

Still want it to be faster? Tell a woman NOT to tell ANYONE.

 

 

Okay it’s obvious that this post is on jokes about women now. I sure hope I don’t get my head chopped or be skinned alive after this, but here is, the complete actual meanings of what a woman actually meant when she say things like:

1) ‘We need’ means ‘I Want’ ; e.g. “We need (I want) new curtains for our home”

2) ‘You want’ means ‘You need’; e.g. “You want to take a shower now” means “You need a shower now”

3) ‘It’s your decision’ means ‘The correct decision should be obvious by now’; e.g. on choosing for the correct movie to watch…

4) ‘We need to talk’ means ‘I need to complain’; no example needed, we men can relate to this very well

5) ‘Do what you want’ means ‘You’ll pay for this later” e.g. asking your other half whether can you go out with your soccer buddies for a drink…

6) ‘You’re so manly’ means ‘You need a shave and you sweat a lot’

7) ‘Sure go ahead’ means ‘I don’t want you to’; e.g. take example from number 5.

8) ‘I’m not upset’ means ‘Of course I’m upset you moron!’

9) ‘You’re certainly attentive tonight’ means ‘Is sex all you ever think about?’

10) ‘I’m not emotional! And I’m not overeating!’ means ‘I’m on my period now’

11) ‘Be romantic. Turn off the lights’ means ‘I’m embarrassed’

12) ‘This kitchen is so inconvenient’ means ‘I want a new house’

13) ‘You have to learn to communicate’ means ‘Just agree with me’

14) ‘Yes’ means ‘No’

15) ‘No’ means ‘No’

16) ‘Maybe’ means ‘No’

17) ‘Do you love me?’ means ‘I’m gonna ask for something expensive’

18) ‘How much do you love me?’ means ‘I did something that you’re not going to like’

19) ‘I’ll be ready in a minute’ means ‘It’ll be in awhile. Be patient.’

20) ‘Am I fat?’ means ‘Tell me I’m beautiful’

21) ‘Nah, all we’re buying from the convenient store will be some soap bars and some miscellaneous items’ means ‘Major shopping. Bring your credit card and cheque book along.”

Sigh…

Here’s my take:

Women: “No! We’re not like that! Absolutely not as what were described!” means “Spot on”

*don’t bother about these empty boxes and lines below. Wanted to post some pictures but these came out and I can’t seem to delete it.

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 


 

 

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Transformers Jokes…

Posted in Jokes on July 29, 2007 by steve maestro

Well since no one posted it yet, I guess I could post it up just for fun and for some laughs… well, here goes..

Trans- jokes… 

 

Question: What is Transformers’ sister?

 

Answer: Tran-sistor

 

Question: What do you called a screwed up Transformers?

 

Answer: Trans-vestite

 

Question: What do you called a sexually confusing Transformers?

 

Answer: Trans-gender

 

Names rejected for the cast of Transformers, as well as disguises for Transformers that just won’t work!:

 

Pogobot= robot that turns into a pogo stick

 

Autohydrant = robot that turns into a fire hydrant

 

Fluffycon= robot that turns into a bed. Kills enemies in their sleep

 

Nicobot= robot turns into a cigarette box

 

Tamatron= robot that turns into a huge Tamagotchi. Kills enemies with it’s cuteness

 

And finally…

 

Flushatron= robot that turns into a toilet

 

Imagine when Optimus Prime shouts “Autobots! Rollout!”

 

Toilets_Dtl10783

Flushatron: “Crap… how am I supposed to roll out??! I can only flush out!”

Is this how we go through our lives in a week?

Posted in Jokes, Rants&Crap on July 26, 2007 by steve maestro

When I was still a small kid, or when I was younger, I could not understand why life as a working adult is so tough. I mean, yeah, back then anything would be better than exams and stuff like that, and asking myself why the term ‘Monday Blues’ appeared and terms like ‘Thank God It’s Friday’ existed (heck, it’s even a restaurant/bar chain now…).

 

Now that we’re all older, and had tasted the bittersweet life of a working adult in one way or another, I think we can all relate to these two images below:

 

For blogging purposes(2)

Typical day-to-day in a week for a working adult?

 

For blogging purposes(3)
The different ‘facades’ that working adults wear for the separate days in a week?

So, how about yours?

Retracted.

Posted in Rants&Crap on July 25, 2007 by steve maestro

..yeah, I’m human as well. Human goes through what human has to go through, and there’s something called emo-times. Guess I was just emo. How could I give away or stop doing the thing that I love doing?…

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Photo 21

Yeah yeah, go on, laugh about it… I feel ashamed of myself…

I guess my few hours of hiatus was fun…, for me at least…

Yes, as much as you wanna laugh about it… I’m back blogging again… haha…

Suicide Note…

Posted in My experiences, Rants&Crap on July 25, 2007 by steve maestro

No, it’s not for myself. Rather it’s for this blog. This will be the last post (I think…) that I’ll ever post again in this blog. Yes, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m quitting blogging. I found no joy in doing it anymore. It used to be, “oh, I gotta update my blog and all, take pictures of where I went and stuff like that so that I can share it with my friends aka readers of this blog”. But I realised that no one actually reads this space. There’s no point in me putting up posts after posts, going through the trouble of putting in HTML codes to picture form, just for me alone to read it at the end of the day. I have had it with this, it’s not fun anymore.

Sometimes I wonder why blogs like Kenny Sia’s and Xia Xue’s can gather so much attention and comments from others? What did they wrote or did that somehow made everyone crazy and racing with each other to be the first or second to post their comments on their latest blog entries? I wonder…

Blogging had made me happy, yes, for the past few months, I’ve been happy with it. But this has to end. To all my readers (if I have any), thank you for reading this space. And sorry, there won’t be anymore updates from now on.

And just before I kick it off one last time, let me just promote my other friend’s blog. Go to the Blogroll section. Those links there are great links and are entertaining. From tech stuff, movies, bimbo blog (u know who you are), simple rantings about life, it’s all there.

Goodbye and thanks. And no, I’m not jumping over to blogspot or whatsoever. I hope I can be back blogging sometime…

The Joy, The Pain and The Things Stucked Between It

Posted in Food&Travels, Music, My experiences, Rants&Crap on July 23, 2007 by steve maestro

Clear blue sky.. for blogging purposes...
Clear blue sky… or is it fragments of broken clouds?

There’s just too many things in my small and pathetic brain of mine these days. From the smallest things to some pretty major things in my life. But I really don’t know how to express it in words, nor do I know how to express it in any way. Have you ever felt this same feelings that I’m feeling right now? That burdened and troubled heart and mind, but you don’t know what it is exactly? I kinda feel like I’m hanging mid-air or something, balancing myself on a thin and narrow pole…

 

Mum, Dad, and I...
Mum, Me and Dad. Love you both. 

 

Girls from my ex-college
The ladies…

I finally graduated from my diploma course. Couple of months ago I was so convinced I’m not going to pass, cuz of the stupid difficult Accounts subjects I had to resit. But God was gracious and yes He did blessed me indeed man, some of my friends can tell how I’m so sure that I was going to fail. But yep, I passed, convocation is over, and I’m ready for the next phase in my life.

 

The Fire Up conference came and went away a long long time ago. But to me, it felt like it was only yesterday. It was still so fresh in my head, the memories and the things that happened during the conference are still very much occupying my ‘current memory’ side of my brain. I truly thank God for the opportunity for me to serve Him through music ministry. And yes, for some of you who didn’t know, my confidence in both myself and the ministry that God has called me into was shattered into bits and pieces. The words still rings in my ear from time to time. “You’re destroying the band rather than helping them”. Never in my life I thought I was capable of doing that, but at that time I believed in it, and I almost, really almost, wanted to call the worship leaders for the Fire Up conference, to tell them that I don’t want to be a part in the team, as I don’t want to degrade the band and God’s effectiveness.

 

Sleeping while playing the guitar...zzz...zzz
How could I be thankful enough to you, God Almighty? 

I was afraid, I was lost in my cloud of darkness and confusion. I was afraid to even hold my guitar again at that time. But God, yes, you are a truly amazing God. You alone kept me and comforted me throughout the entire time, restoring my confidence again. I could not thank you more, God…

 

O-k, so that’s old news. What have I been up to lately? Nothing much really. Attended the Influence concert last Friday. Australian band In-tone was the guest band for the concert/conference.

 

In-Tone in action
In-tone. Definitely they are.

They rocked man! I’m not too sure of what others think, but I dig their music! Check their promo video out.

 

I’ve also found this funny videos on Herman Li. (click here to find out more about him)

 

 

This first video is him making some really funny noises and sounds from video games, man, I suggest you check out the ‘Elephant Noise’… hillarious! Check out his Brit-Asian accent as well, very funny. I thought to myself, “Hey, I must make a spoof out of this man! The effects are not that hard to do…” ……… and I found this!

 

 

I laughed my heart out…

 

Anyways, some other news… yes, I got myself a new mistress! The first being my car, second my laptop, third my guitar, fourth is my Vox multi-fx pedal, and now I welcome… the Digitech Whammy XP-100!

 

My 5th mistress...
Digitech Whammy XP-100

I posted about my Santa wishes not too long ago, and not bad, not bad. I’ve got my MacBook, and now I’ve got the Whammy! Yay, now I can do some crazy effects and solos with it… hmm, I wonder whether my Grammy award will come soon…

Sigh, got some things to complete. Gotta write out a script and a plot for my church’s anniversary dinner, and yes, I definitely need help, cuz I’m a horrible script writer! Argh!!!

 

Well, that’s it for the time being. Before I go, let me leave you with this picture…
Gothic look from Adeline...
Look into my eyes and tremble with fear… 

Does that scare you? Cuz it scares me! Argh!!! Yes, let that be a reminder to you, leave your comments before you leave, or else, Miss Gothic Adeline will rip you apart and drink your blood and smother her face with your organs and your intestines dwangling out of your stomach!*

* at point of writing, the author had gone insane and thus, he went straight to bed for his recuperation

Happy Birthday Sze May and Amanda Quah!

Posted in Friends, Rants&Crap on July 18, 2007 by steve maestro

Just wanna dedicate this post on my blog to these two friends of mine…

Dear Sze May,

So many wonderful memories and times I had with you as your “Ah Kor”, or older brother. As I’m typing this, I’m sipping down a cup of hot honey concoction, reminiscing about the days when we chatted on the phone, talking over your problems for hours on you-know-who and you-know-what. Things have changed, for the better, now that you have survived the trials and tribulations before this. There’s always something that I’ve always wanted to tell you, and that is I’m proud and honored to have you as my friend. Cheers to this wonderful friend of mine, Koo Sze May! (ps: I’m not exposing your age here, so that everyone would not know that you’ve just turned 21 actually. Huh? Oops, I just did, right? haha…)

Dear Amanda,

Sigh, this poor girl, can’t accept the fact that she’s no longer a ‘-teen’ anymore ( seven’teen’, eight’teen’, nine’teen’). The big TWO ZERO is indeed in your life now, haha. All I can say is, welcome to the family! Known you since like… 3 years ago in HUGE camp, Malacca. Always known for her eccentric hair styles, from the first time I met her, she had like… 60’s or 70’s-or-whenever Farah Fawcett like hairstyle (if you dunno how Farah Fawcett looks like, clickie here, and now she’s having this, multiple colored hair, I dunno what you would call that not blonde-not brown-not red-not anything color. But…whatever makes you happy la ok? And yes, happy birthday to you as well, may our friendship continue to stand through the practices-for-various-concerts-and-conferences and M&M cafe sessions.

To my two feline female friend, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!