Laughter Is The Best Medicine.

Just some jokes to share with you all. I know, I’ve been posting jokes and stuff like that of late, but yeah, I’ll get to some real blogging soon, got some stuff about my church’s outing to play bowling at Mont Kiara, some nice ‘yong tau fu’ restaurant at Jalan Ipoh, as well as a TAG by none other than Krys herself. Coming soon!

Okay, laugh now…:

Doctor : Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife : When must I give them to him?

Doctor : They are for you.

 

 

What’s the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?

Answer: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

 

 

Three fastest ways of communication:

1) Telephone

2) Television

3) Tell-a-woman

Still want it to be faster? Tell a woman NOT to tell ANYONE.

 

 

Okay it’s obvious that this post is on jokes about women now. I sure hope I don’t get my head chopped or be skinned alive after this, but here is, the complete actual meanings of what a woman actually meant when she say things like:

1) ‘We need’ means ‘I Want’ ; e.g. “We need (I want) new curtains for our home”

2) ‘You want’ means ‘You need’; e.g. “You want to take a shower now” means “You need a shower now”

3) ‘It’s your decision’ means ‘The correct decision should be obvious by now’; e.g. on choosing for the correct movie to watch…

4) ‘We need to talk’ means ‘I need to complain’; no example needed, we men can relate to this very well

5) ‘Do what you want’ means ‘You’ll pay for this later” e.g. asking your other half whether can you go out with your soccer buddies for a drink…

6) ‘You’re so manly’ means ‘You need a shave and you sweat a lot’

7) ‘Sure go ahead’ means ‘I don’t want you to’; e.g. take example from number 5.

8) ‘I’m not upset’ means ‘Of course I’m upset you moron!’

9) ‘You’re certainly attentive tonight’ means ‘Is sex all you ever think about?’

10) ‘I’m not emotional! And I’m not overeating!’ means ‘I’m on my period now’

11) ‘Be romantic. Turn off the lights’ means ‘I’m embarrassed’

12) ‘This kitchen is so inconvenient’ means ‘I want a new house’

13) ‘You have to learn to communicate’ means ‘Just agree with me’

14) ‘Yes’ means ‘No’

15) ‘No’ means ‘No’

16) ‘Maybe’ means ‘No’

17) ‘Do you love me?’ means ‘I’m gonna ask for something expensive’

18) ‘How much do you love me?’ means ‘I did something that you’re not going to like’

19) ‘I’ll be ready in a minute’ means ‘It’ll be in awhile. Be patient.’

20) ‘Am I fat?’ means ‘Tell me I’m beautiful’

21) ‘Nah, all we’re buying from the convenient store will be some soap bars and some miscellaneous items’ means ‘Major shopping. Bring your credit card and cheque book along.”

Sigh…

Here’s my take:

Women: “No! We’re not like that! Absolutely not as what were described!” means “Spot on”

*don’t bother about these empty boxes and lines below. Wanted to post some pictures but these came out and I can’t seem to delete it.

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 


 

 

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