Archive for the Emo Moments Category

The One With Being Acknowledged

Posted in Emo Moments, Rants&Crap, Ridiculous things on January 30, 2009 by steve maestro

BEWARE: This is an emo post. Proceed with caution.

Okay… I had enough. If this was a psychological game that you’re playing, you have succeeded in making me emo.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s me or if it’s you? I tried my best to fit in. And sometimes you made me felt that you like me , acknowledge me. But there are times when it’s so darn obvious you actually don’t acknowledge me at all. Even as a friend you don’t.

Putting up everyone’s names and not mine. Mentioning everyone that was there but not me. These are just some of the things you did.

Ironically I used to look up to you too. But you fell flat to the ground like a piece of scrap iron in these recent days. Perhaps I knew too much about you.

So is it me or is it clearly not me making up stories in my head this time around? You be the judge.


The One With The End of UniFest

Posted in Emo Moments, My experiences, Wonderful Things on January 16, 2009 by steve maestro


All the pain and heartaches made it. All 4 months of planning. All the joy, all the regrets.

And it was phenomenal. Thanks to all who showed up, thanks to all the sponsors and vendors for the event. Thank you to all the helpers, ushers, security members (or bouncers as what they call themselves), crews and others.

A big thank you to Mr Terry Yeow too, our advisor for this event. You rock man.

Thanks to the awesome performers who performed for us. You guys and girls were awesome!

And also to the rest of the committee, I salute you. For taking all the pain, all the stabs, all the pressure. I guess in the end, it didn’t turn out as bad as it could be.

This lil bit here is for people who likes to take all the credits for the littlest things that they do. You suck, you sore loser. Perhaps this is my biggest regret of ever working with you, and I will try my best to not work with you ever again.

… but enough on that. This post should end on a high note…


The One With The End Of Year 2008

Posted in Emo Moments, My experiences, Rants&Crap, Ridiculous things, Wonderful Things on December 29, 2008 by steve maestro

Not quite. 2 more days left. I wonder what would year 2009 be? Well, this is the time where most bloggers who actually takes the effort to update their blogs to rant about their year and count their blessings. Same goes to this blogger here.

Year 2008 started out to be an indifferent start to year 2007. Dull, boring and hoping that the year would end soon. Little did I know, the changes started then. But to make this post seem more entertaining and less hurtful to the eye, lets break it down to months shall we?

January of ’08:
Entered UCSI University (then known as University College Sedaya International). Education seemed distant from me, as a result of taking a break from my studies to work. Didn’t like business courses, so I took a guided leap of faith (yes, guided by Him) to change to mass comm. Things seemed to improve.

Was given the shock of my life when the CF fellas told me that I’ll be playing guitar for their Easter Rally. Prakash and Terry’s big ‘gift’ for me for entering UCSI. Great ‘gift’ indeed cuz I met her.

That was January.

February of ’08:
Still adjusting to the life of a mass comm student. Went for Switchfoot concert and as he put it, it was a blast. Shame on those who did not attend it. Also went for Backstreet Boys concert. What happened in the concert STAYS in the concert. Practices for worship team for the Easter Rally was moved from the ‘sauna’ room to FGA KL. Much much better.

That was February.

March of ‘o8:
Hectic schedule kicked in. Readjusting life from the working world to being studying is quite a hassle. Juggling between studies and… studies. Somehow it seems so hard to balance it off. Had a great time playing for the Easter Rally. Went for Sunburst Festival, and Incubus was awesome!

Unofficially started something beautiful early of the month.

That was March.

April of ’08:
Exams. Last minute studying. More exams. Datelines. After the semester finals, got a two week break. Hung out with a few friends on a so-called ‘Food Indulgence Rendezvous’. Got the shock of my life when her parents started calling her to go home when we were on our way to Look Out Point. But it made me realized how much I was into her. And she knows it as well.

That was April.

May of ’08:
Second semester starts. Pretty happy with last semester’s results. Got 2 same classes with her. Everything seems so… dull then. Life was boring, and I was constantly looking for more stuff to do around uni. The Hive started, was roped in to help. Was bothered by church conspiracies. Was kinda resolved but not resolved at the same time.

That was May.

June of ’08:
Went for a stage play with her and her classmates, for their class assignment. Something great happened. So psyched I took the wrong turn home (yes if you are reading this now darling I went to Sungai Buloh instead of going back to my house on that night.). Played for Influence Conference, but was still bothered by the conspiracies in church. Kinda left church for awhile then. No regrets as it taught me something in the end.

That was June.

July of ’08:
Played for KLBC’s musical production in uni. Saw her parents upclose for the first time. Wasn’t a good experience. Studies are starting to tear me inside out then. Seemed impossible to finish off the semester, but persevered I did. For a moment, it seemed my life was to do video clips with the iMovie.

Went for Daughtry concert with her, again. Kinda miss the spot where you were sitting on the barricade plastic thingy and I was covering your head from the rain with the concert flyer. Glo officially ‘died’. It was a good run. It lived good.

That was July.

August of ‘o8:
Exams. More last minute studies. After that was CF camp in Broga. Was great, had a lot of fun and body aches. Was supposed to spend the rare two weeks holiday resting, but was given the opportunity to emcee for the orientation for the next semester. A rare experience, and it was great.

That was August.

September of ’08:
Short semester started. Felt so sluggish as it was quite a hectic schedule as well. Was hoping and praying hard to not FAIL the semester. Conspiracies still went on, but at least I was out of the picture. Made some people happy, some did not.

Was given another shock of my life when her parents asked me to join their dinner, in conjunction with the mum’s birthday. Was awkward at first, but who’s first meeting with the parents doesn’t?

Got to be emcee for Awards Day. Was a scary experience, but it taught me formal, well-presented ways of emcee-ing. First time working with a script for emcee. Plannings for UniFest began then.

That was September.

October of ’08:
Exams. Looking forward to the two month break, upon realizing that I will not have any other breaks from then on. Was pestered to work for November, with a heavy heart, I agreed, for her, for her…

Spent time resting and going places like Malacca, getting my long overdue diploma cert. Planning for UniFest was ongoing… meetings lined up. Was chosen to be the chairperson for next year’s CF Easter Rally.

That was October.

November of ’08:
Spent whole month working at Nielsen with her. Was fun, did not regret it a single bit. Meetings for both easter rally and UniFest piles up.

Officially started something beautiful on the 7th of November.

Was given the best birthday bash ever at Chilli’s by my darling. Will not forget it for the rest of my life. Officially turned 22.

Was asked by David to play for him for the Malaysian Revival Songwriting Competition (MRSC). Went through the heats stages, and was selected as 1 of the 9 finalists. Pretty psyched by it. Church conspiracies took a fall, and I found myself going back again. Not for long.

That was November

December of ’08:
More meetings for UniFest. More trips to uni on my holiday period. Played for the finals of MRSC. Did not win any physical award, though I personally felt like I won more than the winners on that night. Kinda realized the absence from the conspiracy-infested place did me good. Taught me well. And when I was just about to commit to the place again, a huge blockade came by. And it was a clear enough sign to steer clear from that place. This is the first time I ever made this public, so yeah it meant the world of hurt to me when I was blamed and framed. I had enough.

Went to Malacca again, and went to Kuching with Leslie ‘Chicken King’ on a working trip. Had a great Christmas at her church, followed by the whole day of hanging out together.

That was December… minus 2 days from it.

… yes so there you have it. The year 2008. Ups and downs and whatnots. To a better 2009 year?

The One Where I’m Ugly

Posted in Emo Moments on August 10, 2008 by steve maestro

Ugly, disgusting, unpleasant looking…

Whatever, you name it, I got all of it.

But is it my fault that I’m born like this?

I hate first impressions seriously. So I’m fat, so happened I’m not good looking.

Is it my fault then? Don’t I want to look good too?

Is it my fault?

The One With The Garbage

Posted in Emo Moments on July 17, 2008 by steve maestro

It’s 2am now… and God knows why I’m still up at this hour.

A whole long and tiring day tomorrow, and yet, I still can’t sleep…

Cuz I’m asking myself… am I a piece of garbage?

Really, am I? I know, I shouldn’t ridicule God, bla bla bla… but really, ultimately, deep down, I can’t help but feel like a piece of thrash.

People just seem to hate me don’t they? Use me, take advantage of me, talk behind my back, ridicule me… and the list just go on and on…

Am I always this lonely? This alone? When I needed company, you would go away too?

Do I deserve you? I don’t think so…

Cuz I’m, like mentioned, a piece of garbage. Not worthy to be even looked at.

The One With The ‘Gimme A Break’…

Posted in Emo Moments, Randoms on June 21, 2008 by steve maestro

I’m going nuts…

After a week of non-stop practices, rallying to and fro between Cheras, PJ and Segambut, and having cleared 2 out of 3 sessions for the conference that requires all this practices, here I am, stealing some precious few hours away from the conference, came back home to get some potentially life-saving rest before I dive back into the streams of busy schedules and deadlines.

Deadlines? What deadlines?

Well, I have a psychology test on Monday, which I’ve not studied at all. Then I have my Public Relations mid-term next Wednesday, which I’ve also not covered at all. I have my Pop Culture presentation due next Saturday, and I’ve not even touched it yet. And on top of that, I have another psychology assignment due two weeks from now. And also, I’ve not even started to discuss and plan my group’s Alternative Voices assignment.

And wait, that’s not it…

I’ve got a performance slot for The Hive in my college on the 2nd July, and I’ve got the worship session in which I’ve yet to know whether I’m playing bass or electric guitar on the 10th of July. Secretly I’m kinda hoping my college’s dance night would be canceled, which if according to the original plan, would take place somewhere around the end of July. Cuz if it’s not, I would have to play for the band sessions as well.

And as icing on the cake, I’ve to perform my daily duties as mummy’s boy, ie becoming mum’s personal driver, occasional house cleaner, and bla bla bla…

Just wish I could have more hours in a day. I’ve actually calculated and I figured I might need an extra 4 hours per day so that I could squeeze in some extra time to rest. But then again, it’s just me, if you know me I sleep a LOT, compared to a friend of mine who doesn’t sleep at all. Great huh? That ability might be his superpower actually, whilst the rest of the superheroes might have regenerative abilites and all the what nots, his is not to sleep nor rest.

But… but…

God, you have been gracious to me. Amidst of all things, You became my source of strength. You became my hope. You became my motivator. And above all, You became my protector. I could only pray that I’m thrown into these situations more, so that I could actively seek Your presence in my life and remind myself time and time again that You are God.

Oh well, time to go again. I can’t believe I took 20 minutes to post this. Thanks for the continuous pestering and pressure from my friends to update my blog, cuz if it’s not for you guys I would have been napping away right now and not post this up. Sorry lah, this is the best I could come up with now. Once I get materials to post, I would do it the next time… when I’m free.

It’s amazing how an empty transparent bottle of perfume with a pink colored cover could lift my spirits up…

The One With The ‘I know…’

Posted in Emo Moments, My experiences, Randoms on May 10, 2008 by steve maestro

Yes, this is yet another reply for you… if you’re expecting one that is…

‘I know…’

Why am I posting it here you ask? Cuz I know you constantly check this page. Erm, blog stats won’t lie.

But if there’s anything I can add to it is that I appreciate everything you’ve said before. All the little things that mattered most. All the times you held your patience against my childishness.

Once again, I thank you.

P.S.: Can anyone tell me what does P.S. means? I don’t get the P.S. thing at the end of each letter, I know it’s supposed to be there for you to add something to it in case you forgot or haven’t added it into your letter but what does P.S. means?